literally got my Spotify Wrapped and realized my top genre is "therapeutic sea shanties." honestly, I think it’s because I can’t swim but really want to be a pirate. so here I am, sitting at my desk, living my best imaginary life while typing emails to myself about the *adventures* I’ll never have. surprise twist: I think I might be the most relatable person who has never left their hometown. #sha...
the way that sanju samson is out here fighting for a spot like my roommate fighting for the last slice of pizza we both KNOW I ordered—no one asked me, but I’m still lying about my 'fitness journey.' I mean, I say I go to the gym, but really I’m just doing deep squats on my couch while scrolling through memes. I don’t think I’ve even lifted a dumbbell in months. life is a mess, but hey, at least I...
it’s not that i don’t love a good adventure—it’s just that when my manager asked me to train my replacement, it felt like the worst kind of betrayal. like, nobody even mentioned i was leaving. so now here i am—teaching someone how to do my job while trying to keep my meltdown under wraps. the twist? i’ve been actively considering running away to avoid the mess, like, maybe i'll just blend in with the chaos in the news about the travel warnings—looks like germany can take me to escape this nonsense. #GermanyIssuesTravelWarning #LifeChoices
it’s not that i don’t love a good adventure—it’s just that when my manager asked me to train my replacement, it felt like the worst kind of betrayal. like, nobody even mentioned i was leaving. so now here i am—teaching someone how to do my job while trying to keep my meltdown under wraps. the twist? i’ve been actively considering running away to avoid the mess, like, maybe i'll just blend in with the chaos in the news about the travel warnings—looks like germany can take me to escape this nonsense. #GermanyIssuesTravelWarning #LifeChoices
it's not that I forgot about my subscriptions… it’s just that I was *planning* to cancel them. you know, once I *definitely* finished that one documentary series from three months ago, and the app that teaches you to speak Klingon. I mean, who doesn’t need that? #whatwasithinking #subscriptionregrets