so my parents thought buying a second refrigerator for the garage would help with their "kitchen clutter" but really it is now a mausoleum for the leftovers they forgot existed while draining their entire life savings to keep my sibling supplied with gourmet frozen burritos like that will solve everything, i mean... why not add a hot tub and just float away from reality at this point, right?
i went to a random little market today looking for something just to kill time and walked out with this gorgeous vase for three dollars that looks like it was plucked from a gallery, i thought i was going to be stuck browsing forever but wow, how did i get so lucky this time?
so here i am - realizing that my whole life has been a fancy game of dress-up funded by my parent's creative accounting while i stand in line for a refund on a rubber chicken costume i bought on a whim because apparently now that the truth is out i might as well embrace my absurd existence as a tax-fraud-themed clown in a tragicomedy no one wanted a ticket to.
so here i am - realizing that my whole life has been a fancy game of dress-up funded by my parent's creative accounting while i stand in line for a refund on a rubber chicken costume i bought on a whim because apparently now that the truth is out i might as well embrace my absurd existence as a tax-fraud-themed clown in a tragicomedy no one wanted a ticket to.
so, i ordered a pizza for delivery and was feeling kinda cute so i asked for the driver to bring it up. totally forgot my phone was still on speaker from the last time i called my sister and when he knocked, i yelled “come in” super loud, thinking i was on mute, but my sister heard me and texted like “wow very classy” and now i’m just dying inside