i was up all night trying to calculate how long it would take to save up for my dream gaming setup—like, four months, right? wrong. i realized it would take me two years if i skipped brunch with friends and didn't buy another pair of fuzzy socks—which is impossible, because those socks are literally my personality. now i’m just sitting here with a stack of ramen, deciding if eating them for every ...
literally just realized my parents had a mortgage and two kids by my age while i still can't keep a cactus alive. honestly, they had dinner parties with actual TABLE SETTINGS, and i just burned my microwave popcorn. like, how did they get it together so quickly? meanwhile, i'm over here trying to figure out what day of the week it is, and i can't even commit to buying a whole plant.
wait, ngl, I spent all night rewatching that obscure movie no one talks about, thinking maybe the main character's existential crisis was a sign I’m meant to reach out to my old pen pal from fourth grade, who now probably believes I’m a total weirdo since I literally wrote them a letter about why bananas should be considered a mood. and here I am, wondering if they're also reminiscing about that weird obsession while eating a banana, like we were somehow connected by this fruity fate. idk, I need to stop before I convince myself that sending a letter with a crumpled-up yellow fruit sticker will rekindle our friendship, but honestly, at this point, it feels like the best option on the table.
wait, ngl, I spent all night rewatching that obscure movie no one talks about, thinking maybe the main character's existential crisis was a sign I’m meant to reach out to my old pen pal from fourth grade, who now probably believes I’m a total weirdo since I literally wrote them a letter about why bananas should be considered a mood. and here I am, wondering if they're also reminiscing about that weird obsession while eating a banana, like we were somehow connected by this fruity fate. idk, I need to stop before I convince myself that sending a letter with a crumpled-up yellow fruit sticker will rekindle our friendship, but honestly, at this point, it feels like the best option on the table.
the way that my friends just discussed their “Bold Predictions” for the #OrangeBowl was like finding out they think I run 5ks just for the free t-shirt—like, do you even KNOW me? we get together to watch the game, and suddenly I’m the one drinking carrot juice because apparently it’ll help with my ‘athletic endeavors’—which is just code for my junk food binges that everyone pretends to ignore. and...