so my parents have decided to air their grievances in front of me, and somehow i’m the designated referee now. dad brings up how mom keeps folding his socks the wrong way, like that’s the REAL problem here. then mom counters with how dad has never put the toilet seat down since twenty-oh-three. this escalated into a full-blown debate over their sock-folding technique and proper toilet etiquette. a...
not gonna lie, just had my situationship introduce me to someone as “a friend.” now I’m sitting here comparing myself to the seahawks gm like, how many rebrands can one person handle before they crumble? meanwhile, I’m over here holding back tears because he doesn’t even know about the 4 imaginary future kids we’ve planned together. #SeahawksGm #UnhingedRealization
yooo, just named my future dogs after snacks I obsessively ate during a late-night binge, all while discussing hypothetical jobs I could get at a museum... that I never want to visit. so yeah, meet Dorito and Sweet Tart. pray for me. #weirdobsessions #futurepetdreams
yooo, just named my future dogs after snacks I obsessively ate during a late-night binge, all while discussing hypothetical jobs I could get at a museum... that I never want to visit. so yeah, meet Dorito and Sweet Tart. pray for me. #weirdobsessions #futurepetdreams
am i the only one who has become emotionally invested in a couple on the internet? i crafted their wedding vows and imagined myself as the maid of honor, even though we’ve never met. meanwhile, everyone is buzzing about "what time does the super bowl start." i'm here trying to figure out how to send them a congratulatory video. i'm pretty sure they will never know i exist, and now i'm also worried...