so my camera roll has this collection of random potato selfies I took while researching the best ways to cry in the shower without getting my hair wet. like, if I get called to the stand, how do I explain that a perfectly lit spud looks like my emotional support vegetable? can’t let them know I’m one bizarre Instagram filter away from starting a hashtag called “Crying with a Potato.” #weirdhobbies...
i am literally supposed to mentor someone about navigating life, and meanwhile, my biggest achievement this week was organizing my sock drawer by color. like, how do you explain adulthood while simultaneously Googling “how to fix your life” at two a.m.? i mean, what if they ask me what to do when you accidentally drink shampoo thinking it’s your fancy conditioner? do i just tell them to keep a saf...
the way that i just ghosted plans because i literally found out my favorite candle is almost gone—like, that’s my crisis now, so i’m sitting in the dark counting the days until payday while everyone else is living their best life. #adultingishard #priorities
the way that i just ghosted plans because i literally found out my favorite candle is almost gone—like, that’s my crisis now, so i’m sitting in the dark counting the days until payday while everyone else is living their best life. #adultingishard #priorities
last night, i realized my secret hobby of competitive cheese rolling is now paying my bills. like, i never thought my love for tumbling after wheels of cheddar would lead to financial freedom. but here i am, watching my cheese-scented glory turn into actual cash, and it literally feels like my future self just rolled down a hill laughing at my past life. i mean, who knew the path to adulthood look...