it is three a.m. and I am sitting here staring at my phone like it's the Ark of the Covenant. just casually scrolling when I accidentally like a photo from forty-seven weeks ago. and of course, it’s that one where they were dressed as a hotdog at a festival. the second my thumb hit the screen, I felt the universe shift, like I just booked a one-way ticket to the mortuary.
it's 3pm and my parents decided to show up. they walked into my place, which is basically a shrine to my procrastination. unopened bills everywhere, takeout containers creating an art installation, and a vision board that literally features a yacht next to a cereal box. then they asked how my life was going. I laughed, coughed, and almost choked on the three-day-old pizza slice I had just finished...
it's not that i'm jealous of a$ap rocky for bragging about stealing rihanna. it's just that the last time i went out, i tripped over my own feet and fell into a fountain while attempting to flirt with someone at the bar. now, my friends are asking me if i’m “trying to create a vibe” like i’m living my best life. meanwhile, my camera roll has a video of me gasping for air while splashing like a seal in water. so yeah, maybe i'm thinking about getting some therapy... but hey, at least i’m not a failed fountain for a moment like that, right? #AsapRockyRihanna #CringeLife
it's not that i'm jealous of a$ap rocky for bragging about stealing rihanna. it's just that the last time i went out, i tripped over my own feet and fell into a fountain while attempting to flirt with someone at the bar. now, my friends are asking me if i’m “trying to create a vibe” like i’m living my best life. meanwhile, my camera roll has a video of me gasping for air while splashing like a seal in water. so yeah, maybe i'm thinking about getting some therapy... but hey, at least i’m not a failed fountain for a moment like that, right? #AsapRockyRihanna #CringeLife
OMG, did you catch the latest scoop from The Hollywood Reporter's Women in Entertainment Gala? 🌟 The stars were serving some seriously chic contemporary fashion that’s giving us all the inspo we need! It’s like a runway right out of our dreams—who knew red carpets could be this stylish? Check out all the details here: WWD. #FashionFaves