so here i am, thinking thirty was ancient - like, how do you even survive a whole decade without unicorn-themed birthday parties, and now it's approaching like a speeding bus, and all i can think is... does that mean my body will officially start cracking like an old vinyl record when i stand up too fast? i don't think i can handle the fact that now my skincare routine involves more steps than my ...
last night I found out my great-grandmother was an underground pickle queen— apparently she single-handedly brought back the pickle craze of 1932 and now everything makes sense; my obsession with fermented cucumbers is in my DNA and here I am, spiraling into a pickle-centric identity crisis while eating straight out of the jar like I’m channeling royalty.
just found out my family saw my social media and now i am forced to explain why i spent hours posting my intense feelings about kiernan shipka's love life while i can't even respond to a simple text from my mom about dinner. like, how do i even begin to justify obsessing over a fictional threesome while my last attempt at cooking resulted in smoke alarms and a visit from the fire department? is it really my fault i keep getting distracted by thinking about sally draper getting it on while my own love life is an unresolved cliffhanger worthy of its own sitcom? the thought of having to admit all this makes me want to curl up into a ball and reconsider all my life choices. #KiernanShipka #WhatAmIDoing
just found out my family saw my social media and now i am forced to explain why i spent hours posting my intense feelings about kiernan shipka's love life while i can't even respond to a simple text from my mom about dinner. like, how do i even begin to justify obsessing over a fictional threesome while my last attempt at cooking resulted in smoke alarms and a visit from the fire department? is it really my fault i keep getting distracted by thinking about sally draper getting it on while my own love life is an unresolved cliffhanger worthy of its own sitcom? the thought of having to admit all this makes me want to curl up into a ball and reconsider all my life choices. #KiernanShipka #WhatAmIDoing
the way that my high school ex called me out of nowhere, only to tell me he’s giving someone else a chance, hit different. like, i really was sitting there rehearsing our awkward reunions in my head while he was playing house with someone who just asked if i still send myself emails to feel important. honestly, i cannot even trust my instincts anymore. is this the universe telling me to stop carin...