ok but the last time i cared about a match was when my old job’s office decided to hold a "spirit day" during the Porto vs Rangers game. everyone was decked out in jerseys, but i was stuck at my desk silently wishing my enthusiasm for football had anything to do with my life instead of wishing to escape this office hell. wait... do you know what it’s like to watch everyone cheer for something mean...
lmao, i let someone take the blame for stealing a pack of gummy bears from the communal office stash. it wasn’t even me who was hungry, i just saw them look desperate like it was life or death. fast forward to me scrolling through Twitter seeing Colorado vs Iowa State, wondering if my moral compass just committed a foul. now, do i tell the truth and risk losing the only friend who thinks i’m cool,...
so, i spent three years trying to become an expert at making homemade pickles, completely convinced i would start a hipster food truck. fast forward to today, and i just discovered that while my pickles are delightful, i actually forgot to learn how to cook anything else. now, my “gourmet food truck” idea is basically me standing in a park, slinging jars of pickles and hoping someone thinks “quirky” is a legitimate food group. good thing the pigeons seem to appreciate fine dining.
so, i spent three years trying to become an expert at making homemade pickles, completely convinced i would start a hipster food truck. fast forward to today, and i just discovered that while my pickles are delightful, i actually forgot to learn how to cook anything else. now, my “gourmet food truck” idea is basically me standing in a park, slinging jars of pickles and hoping someone thinks “quirky” is a legitimate food group. good thing the pigeons seem to appreciate fine dining.
it's not that i’m obsessed with uel or anything, it's just that one time, i literally found myself yelling at the TV during a match because the coffee shop down the street decided to close right as extra time started. honestly, i know it sounds wild but it felt like the universe was saying "no coffee for you" right as my stress level peaked. the worst part? i bought a bean grinder after that, but ...