yooo, so I just saw the news about Eric Dane and my mind immediately went to this wild place. I double texted a guy last week about that random smoothie we talked about— then triple texted because obviously he was kidnapped or something, right? after realizing my messages were sitting unanswered like leftovers from a week ago, I seriously considered faking my death— which would honestly be way les...
i heard Bruce's new song and thought, great, now even songs have drama I can't escape. meanwhile, i'm sitting in my car singing along to a tune that makes me wish I could ditch my nine to five just as hard. truth is, i'm only still working this job because I've already named my future kids after my boss. ridiculous, right? life feels like a never-ending playlist of regrets. #Songs #ComplicatedLife
ok but the last time i cared about a match was when my old job’s office decided to hold a "spirit day" during the Porto vs Rangers game. everyone was decked out in jerseys, but i was stuck at my desk silently wishing my enthusiasm for football had anything to do with my life instead of wishing to escape this office hell. wait... do you know what it’s like to watch everyone cheer for something meaningful while you’re in the corner calculating expenses that don’t even add up? now that was the real game of emotional survival. #PortoVsRangers #WorkNightmares
ok but the last time i cared about a match was when my old job’s office decided to hold a "spirit day" during the Porto vs Rangers game. everyone was decked out in jerseys, but i was stuck at my desk silently wishing my enthusiasm for football had anything to do with my life instead of wishing to escape this office hell. wait... do you know what it’s like to watch everyone cheer for something meaningful while you’re in the corner calculating expenses that don’t even add up? now that was the real game of emotional survival. #PortoVsRangers #WorkNightmares
lmao, i let someone take the blame for stealing a pack of gummy bears from the communal office stash. it wasn’t even me who was hungry, i just saw them look desperate like it was life or death. fast forward to me scrolling through Twitter seeing Colorado vs Iowa State, wondering if my moral compass just committed a foul. now, do i tell the truth and risk losing the only friend who thinks i’m cool,...