i found myself crying over a spilled smoothie today, like—why do we even pretend to care about green smoothies anyway? is it supposed to fix my life or something? meanwhile, my side hustle as a freelance emotional support pillow is now covering my main job’s expenses. how did this become my reality? do my coworkers even notice that i’ve officially transitioned from a sad desk worker to a full-time...
last night, i walked past someone i grew up with. they looked RIGHT at me, like they were analyzing a modern art piece, and then they just TURNED AWAY. honestly, i have a vivid memory of us sharing juice boxes and discussing our future imaginary families. now here we are, two people with no idea who the other is. one of us is clearly delusional.
wait, so everyone is talking about martin lawrence and colorism, but here i am still trying to manifest a dinner date with a guy who doesn’t even know my name. i have photos of me reenacting iconic scenes from ‘martin’ in my camera roll, but instead of showing off my best angles, it looks like evidence for a very weird court case. one day, my life will be a rom-com and i will casually reference how ‘martin’ inspired my sense of humor. still waiting for my character arc, though. #MartinLawrence #Manifesting
wait, so everyone is talking about martin lawrence and colorism, but here i am still trying to manifest a dinner date with a guy who doesn’t even know my name. i have photos of me reenacting iconic scenes from ‘martin’ in my camera roll, but instead of showing off my best angles, it looks like evidence for a very weird court case. one day, my life will be a rom-com and i will casually reference how ‘martin’ inspired my sense of humor. still waiting for my character arc, though. #MartinLawrence #Manifesting
last night, I found out my best friend told someone my secret about my weird obsession with collecting napkin dispensers. now my crush is asking if I can show him my “sick collection” and I just froze—do I admit I named them? the shame hit hard when I realized I may have to give a tour of my kitchen drawer to a guy who thought I was cool just a week ago.