lmao, so my friend ghosted me for like three days, right? then out of nowhere, they just send "lol" like we didn’t just go through a whole drought of conversation. it literally felt like when josh gad pops up in a cameo and you’re like, wait, why are we here? just like... maybe I’m the problem. or maybe they're just the real-life version of an unresponsive app. #JoshGad #UnexpectedDramas
yooo, so my neighbor's cat just decided to play hopscotch on my garden gnomes, right? and somehow, in that chaos, my private story got screenshotted by the cat lady who's always peering through her blinds like she's on some reality show. bruh, if you’re going to be my biggest fan, at least come to my live performance, not just the blooper reel. that moment when you realize your most embarrassing c...
it's not that i believe they will change. it’s just... i think if i keep pretending that our trust is as solid as an inflatable pool, maybe one day it will fill up with real water. until then, i'll be over here crying at commercials while they keep floating by with their little plastic ducky of lies.
it's not that i believe they will change. it’s just... i think if i keep pretending that our trust is as solid as an inflatable pool, maybe one day it will fill up with real water. until then, i'll be over here crying at commercials while they keep floating by with their little plastic ducky of lies.
not gonna lie, I spent my rent money on a vintage inflatable pool just to recreate my childhood summers. who needs a stable living situation when I can float in a twenty-dollar kiddie pool in my backyard like a tragic water nymph? my neighbors probably think I’m a wellness influencer now, but little do they know my greatest accomplishment is figuring out how to fit a flamingo float into my car wit...