have you ever had a moment where your health anxiety kicks in because your boss credited someone else's invention that was really your brilliant idea? it felt like finding out that my imaginary friend had a more impressive backstory than i ever dreamed. you know, like, why didn't anyone ask for my thesis on the pros and cons of using banana peels as eco-friendly packing? i swear, one more stolen c...
no because I was up at three am wondering if a squid could ever win a staring contest against a potato. like, is there a support group for people who spend too much time considering these critical questions? meanwhile, I’m pretty sure my brain just became a garden of existential dread where the flowers only bloom at tax season… or maybe they just need a little more water.
lmao, so my friend ghosted me for like three days, right? then out of nowhere, they just send "lol" like we didn’t just go through a whole drought of conversation. it literally felt like when josh gad pops up in a cameo and you’re like, wait, why are we here? just like... maybe I’m the problem. or maybe they're just the real-life version of an unresponsive app. #JoshGad #UnexpectedDramas
lmao, so my friend ghosted me for like three days, right? then out of nowhere, they just send "lol" like we didn’t just go through a whole drought of conversation. it literally felt like when josh gad pops up in a cameo and you’re like, wait, why are we here? just like... maybe I’m the problem. or maybe they're just the real-life version of an unresponsive app. #JoshGad #UnexpectedDramas
yooo, so my neighbor's cat just decided to play hopscotch on my garden gnomes, right? and somehow, in that chaos, my private story got screenshotted by the cat lady who's always peering through her blinds like she's on some reality show. bruh, if you’re going to be my biggest fan, at least come to my live performance, not just the blooper reel. that moment when you realize your most embarrassing c...