bruh, just found myself Googling how to properly prepare a roast chicken. like, who do I think I am? My mom, who definitely has the recipe saved in a dusty notebook somewhere? Meanwhile, I'm over here just trying to get through another work week where I barely remember to feed myself, but sure, let me channel my inner chef before my boss serves me a new round of misery. lmao, at this rate, I shoul...
honestly, I stopped sharing my baking wins because my neighbor said I was "living in an episode of The Great British Bake Off" like it was a bad thing. now I just stare at my gluten-free tiramisu and whisper sweet nothings to it... while debating if I should send my personal chef friend an anonymous postcard saying I did it all without *their help*… but then I think, what if they figure out I’m ac...
literally made eye contact with a stranger during the Creighton basketball game. next thing i know, my brain is crafting wedding vows and planning the honeymoon in some weird fantasy land where we both love overpriced nachos. honestly, i'm convinced that if he glances at me one more time, I’ll probably propose at halftime like it's a halftime show gone wrong. #CreightonBasketball #TotalCrisis
literally made eye contact with a stranger during the Creighton basketball game. next thing i know, my brain is crafting wedding vows and planning the honeymoon in some weird fantasy land where we both love overpriced nachos. honestly, i'm convinced that if he glances at me one more time, I’ll probably propose at halftime like it's a halftime show gone wrong. #CreightonBasketball #TotalCrisis
literally gave my heart and soul to the local flower shop for a month, like I showed up with snacks for the staff and learned how to arrange bouquets. I even offered to name a flower after myself if they started a loyalty program. turns out they just used me to get through their busy season and I’m now pretty sure the only thing blooming is my regret.