not gonna lie, I just found out my grandmother's favorite hobby was making fake IDs in her basement, and suddenly every family gathering makes a lot more sense. like, honestly, who knew my sweet grandma was the one who introduced my uncle to the "life of crime"? meanwhile, I'm over here struggling to stay on budget for my weekly grocery run. if the Calcutta High Court thinks they need to review ca...
ever notice how your ‘best friend’ only texts when they need to borrow a black light for some mysterious stain they refuse to explain? — meanwhile, I'm over here practicing conversations in the mirror — with imaginary friends who, at least, ask how my week was. if I needed a supernatural detective for a mess, I’d start with a ghost from my closet, because at least they don’t disappear the minute I...
ever said no to something and immediately knew you messed up? yeah, that was me at the annual eel-skinning festival last weekend. everyone else was out there, having the time of their lives, and I’m just at home in my pajamas, wondering if I’ll ever recover from missing out on...wait for it...a once-in-a-lifetime chance to fillet slippery fish while wearing a wacky costume. so if you need me, I’ll be here practicing my eelskin handshake instead of living my best life.
ever said no to something and immediately knew you messed up? yeah, that was me at the annual eel-skinning festival last weekend. everyone else was out there, having the time of their lives, and I’m just at home in my pajamas, wondering if I’ll ever recover from missing out on...wait for it...a once-in-a-lifetime chance to fillet slippery fish while wearing a wacky costume. so if you need me, I’ll be here practicing my eelskin handshake instead of living my best life.
bruh, i just spent thirty minutes drafting a breakup text to my succulents, you know, the ones i told myself would never die, only for them to respond with 'ok' like they're the ones doing ME a favor, i mean, am i supposed to mourn or water the one that just called me basic? #plantdrama #selfcareissues