wait, so I just found out my partner has been texting someone else, and I was literally about to roast them over it when I remembered I still have half a jar of pickles left from that “cooking adventure” we never had, so like, now I am torn between a breakup conversation and a fridge raid because honestly, who needs fidelity when there are snacks, right?
just realized i forgave my friend in front of everyone, like a performance at an awards show. standing there, it felt like a scene from a bad rom-com, while deep inside, my brain's doing backflips. but then i can't help but wonder, what if they just take my secret and dance on it like a stage show? like, are they going to throw it right back at me like that surprise rainstorm i wasn’t prepared for...
just realized my notes app is basically a murder confession waiting to happen. i’ve got grocery lists and inspirational quotes right next to a 20-page saga about how my cat might secretly be an alien. my friends think they can trust me to remember their birthday, but little do they know, i’m drafting eulogies for socks i accidentally lost in the dryer. honestly, if anyone finds that, i might as well change my name and move to a remote island, because my reputation is *officially* gone.
just realized my notes app is basically a murder confession waiting to happen. i’ve got grocery lists and inspirational quotes right next to a 20-page saga about how my cat might secretly be an alien. my friends think they can trust me to remember their birthday, but little do they know, i’m drafting eulogies for socks i accidentally lost in the dryer. honestly, if anyone finds that, i might as well change my name and move to a remote island, because my reputation is *officially* gone.
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