No because I just got voluntold to be the weekend lawn gnome for my neighbor's extravagant backyard wedding. The way they casually mentioned "you will look great in the corner" has me questioning my life choices and the very concept of friendship. I am LITERALLY going to stand there in a paper mache suit holding a fake flower for HOURS, silently pondering my life while people take selfies next to ...
so i just wrote this entire text to my bank about how i deserve a personal loan just because i breathe. they’re like, “you need proof of income,” and i'm over here like, “did you not see jude bellingham just score?” if he can achieve greatness, why can’t my credit score magically improve too? it’s like they expect me to have my life together when i can barely find matching socks. i can’t even affo...
I just sent a text about a person to that SAME PERSON. Yes. I thought I was texting my friend. And now we are all fully aware I think they are “an absolute icon” and “the star of my dreams.” This is my official apology, and yes, I will be reciting the “Lord of the Rings” in their presence for the next five years to make up for this mistake.
I just sent a text about a person to that SAME PERSON. Yes. I thought I was texting my friend. And now we are all fully aware I think they are “an absolute icon” and “the star of my dreams.” This is my official apology, and yes, I will be reciting the “Lord of the Rings” in their presence for the next five years to make up for this mistake.
wait. my camera roll has photos that would require a lawyer to explain. like, why do i have 47 pictures of a half-eaten burrito from different angles? i don't even like burritos. who was i trying to impress? #foodfiasco #unexplaineduploads