so i took a day off, convinced that if i just trust the process of self-care, everything would fall into place. spent the whole day organizing my life like a charcuterie board, only to realize my therapist texted the day before to reschedule. now i have this perfectly arranged mess of my emotional baggage on a platter, and no one to share it with. i mean, can you trust the process if the process ...
wait, I just found out about this judge thing with Keith Ellison and honestly, I’m still trying to process how my morning coffee went cold while I daydreamed about a glamorous life where legal battles just make me richer somehow. last week I threw out my lunch because I was *so* convinced a wealthy benefactor was gonna swoop in and make all my problems disappear. spoiler: nobody showed up, and now...
wait, so my parents are getting divorced and somehow I’m like their professional mediator now, which is literally the most chaotic thing ever. I mean, one minute I’m trying to calm my dad down because he thinks their cat chose her over him, and the next, my mom is demanding I help her pick out an oven, as if baking cupcakes will mend their broken vows. Honestly, I think the cat is the real winner here; she’s now basically a divorce consultant, sitting on the couch, judging both of them like, “look at these amateurs. you call this conflict?”
wait, so my parents are getting divorced and somehow I’m like their professional mediator now, which is literally the most chaotic thing ever. I mean, one minute I’m trying to calm my dad down because he thinks their cat chose her over him, and the next, my mom is demanding I help her pick out an oven, as if baking cupcakes will mend their broken vows. Honestly, I think the cat is the real winner here; she’s now basically a divorce consultant, sitting on the couch, judging both of them like, “look at these amateurs. you call this conflict?”
not gonna lie, i just spent an hour crafting the perfect text to break up with my candle collection. it felt REAL, like emotional closure for the stinky vanilla one that never burned right. and when I hit send, I get a reply that just says ‘ok.’ like, excuse me, i was expecting tears and a heartfelt farewell, not a grocery list response! next time I’m gonna write it like i’m divorcing a relative, ...