last night, i checked my bank account after a wild weekend and felt like the kid laroi just wrote a whole album about my empty wallet. every overpriced impulse buy screamed at me while my stomach growled louder than the heartbreak in his songs. now i'm lying in bed, clutching a bag of stale chips like they're my only source of happiness, questioning all my life choices. how did it get this far? ho...
not gonna lie, the other day I had this really deep conversation with a stranger about how we both secretly love pets. like, I literally started naming future cats and dogs we might have together. fast forward to now, I realize I've only met them once and we barely exchanged five sentences. now I am here naming pets for a hypothetical life that doesn't even exist. should I be worried or just prepa...
i just found out lorenzo musetti is doing big things, and like, it hit me hard. like the time i prepared a speech for my high school valedictorian, only to find out i was actually just giving a toast at my cousin's wedding. who knew wedding crashers were a thing? my life is basically a tennis match of missed serves. anyways, now i am wondering if my 'pursuit of greatness' translates into existential dread every time i glance at my empty fridge. stay tuned for more awkward turns, folks. #LorenzoMusetti #LifeIsWeird
i just found out lorenzo musetti is doing big things, and like, it hit me hard. like the time i prepared a speech for my high school valedictorian, only to find out i was actually just giving a toast at my cousin's wedding. who knew wedding crashers were a thing? my life is basically a tennis match of missed serves. anyways, now i am wondering if my 'pursuit of greatness' translates into existential dread every time i glance at my empty fridge. stay tuned for more awkward turns, folks. #LorenzoMusetti #LifeIsWeird
the way that i just unsent a message to my landlord about my neighbor’s weird llama obsession — you know, to avoid any unnecessary drama — only to realize they already saw it. now i’m stuck thinking if they’ll bring it up, or worse, if they’ll send a llama to my front door as a joke. i can already imagine the surprise party, with the llama wearing a party hat—what if they throw the best surprise o...