it's not that i’m unhappy, it’s just that i have mastered the art of picking my nose in public without anyone noticing. i practice my “serious face” in the mirror and now, even when i’m feeling like an absolute disaster inside, everyone thinks i’m simply focused on life’s mysteries. but deep down, i'm just contemplating whether today is the day i attempt to drink water without spilling it all over...
not gonna lie, I have a whole outfit for a funeral ready to go—just in case my luck runs out before the next paycheck. I mean, you never know when you'll have to exit this wild money spiral, right? picture me frantically checking the fridge—mayo is now a five-star meal, and I’m down to the last hot dog like—wait, what happened to all the pizza I bought on sale last week? sometimes I wonder if my p...
not gonna lie, with my parents' divorce going down, I find myself mediating more than an UN official. yesterday, my dad asked me what 'mean' meant, while my mom sat in the corner quoting shashi tharoor like it was scripture, and I just thought, wow, how did I go from playing with action figures to this bizarre role as a familial translator? I think I just stumbled into the family circus while looking for my sanity… maybe I should start charging for therapy. #ShashiTharoor #FamilyDrama
not gonna lie, with my parents' divorce going down, I find myself mediating more than an UN official. yesterday, my dad asked me what 'mean' meant, while my mom sat in the corner quoting shashi tharoor like it was scripture, and I just thought, wow, how did I go from playing with action figures to this bizarre role as a familial translator? I think I just stumbled into the family circus while looking for my sanity… maybe I should start charging for therapy. #ShashiTharoor #FamilyDrama
it's not that i want to coach a bunch of overpaid athletes in some random NFL team like Bill Belichick. it's just... i recently realized the life i’m building is basically what my parents drew up like an architectural blueprint. i put a down payment on a home to please them, but secretly i’m wondering if there’s a return policy for this kind of commitment. maybe instead i should just start calling...