it’s not that i don’t want to do well, it’s just that comparing me to my cousin who's basically the poster child for success feels like telling me to climb Everest while i’m still looking for my left shoe. like, if i had half the opportunities ben crump has, maybe i wouldn’t be searching “how to fake being an adult” on the internet. not that i would ever be his assistant, but hey, a person can dre...
literally found out my friend group has this separate chat, right? like, i’m here thinking we’re all tight, and suddenly i’m as relevant as the latest news on Pakistan vs Australia. and now, every time i hear their inside jokes, i’m just sitting there like a spectator at a cricket match, knowing nothing but wishing they’d let me play. but then again, maybe they’re avoiding me because my red flags ...
it's not that i’m unhappy, it’s just that i have mastered the art of picking my nose in public without anyone noticing. i practice my “serious face” in the mirror and now, even when i’m feeling like an absolute disaster inside, everyone thinks i’m simply focused on life’s mysteries. but deep down, i'm just contemplating whether today is the day i attempt to drink water without spilling it all over myself.
it's not that i’m unhappy, it’s just that i have mastered the art of picking my nose in public without anyone noticing. i practice my “serious face” in the mirror and now, even when i’m feeling like an absolute disaster inside, everyone thinks i’m simply focused on life’s mysteries. but deep down, i'm just contemplating whether today is the day i attempt to drink water without spilling it all over myself.
not gonna lie, I have a whole outfit for a funeral ready to go—just in case my luck runs out before the next paycheck. I mean, you never know when you'll have to exit this wild money spiral, right? picture me frantically checking the fridge—mayo is now a five-star meal, and I’m down to the last hot dog like—wait, what happened to all the pizza I bought on sale last week? sometimes I wonder if my p...