not gonna lie, when I heard Jason Kelce’s wife spill the tea about who said ‘I love you’ first, I couldn't help but have an imaginary argument with my toaster. like, I’m there questioning my whole relationship with kitchen appliances while realizing I've never actually said 'I love you' to anyone without backtracking first. maybe I’m just doomed to always talk a big game about love but end up argu...
so, i told everyone i forgave her after she borrowed my vintage tie and then made a dog collar out of it. who does that? the tie was from my grandpa, you know. then she made a whole social media post about how "fashion is art." meanwhile, my grandpa is rolling in his grave. sure, we can laugh about it in public, but deep down, every time i see her, i imagine throwing glitter in her face and yellin...
day 18 of feeling like a burnt-out candle—my coworker just texted to say they're cheering for Sinner over Djokovic in the semifinals, and I thought—great, because watching a heated tennis match is exactly what I need while I am knee-deep in work I never signed up for. I’ll just sip my coffee, stare into the void, and pray that the universe serves me a break as good as that forehand winner. #SinnerVsDjokovic #Overwhelmed
day 18 of feeling like a burnt-out candle—my coworker just texted to say they're cheering for Sinner over Djokovic in the semifinals, and I thought—great, because watching a heated tennis match is exactly what I need while I am knee-deep in work I never signed up for. I’ll just sip my coffee, stare into the void, and pray that the universe serves me a break as good as that forehand winner. #SinnerVsDjokovic #Overwhelmed
no because when the guy who always flaunted his rare vinyl collection found out it was just a bunch of overpriced coasters, i laughed harder than when my last batch of sourdough literally FLATLINED. karma hit him like a rock, and it felt like a twisted episode of a cooking show gone wrong. who knew that "rich taste" meant you just ran out of better options? #humblepie #vinylfail