yooo, just found out my family still talks about my ex like they were the greatest thing since sliced bread, and I’m over here literally Googling how to turn my new partner’s surname into a pun that sounds fun at dinner.
last night, I bought three novelty rubber ducks because they were "just too cute" but now I realize I still need to buy... well, actual essentials like, you know, groceries? it's like, who needs food when you can have a collection of ducks wearing tiny sunglasses, right? honestly, if I put the ducks in a row, they look more organized than my life ever will. #adultingfail #priorities
day 15 of pretending my life is together, and i just found out my job was posted online. instead of panicking, i planned my acceptance speech for a non-existent award for “best at faking confidence.” how do i tell my mom i have been practicing to accept a ‘smart TV’ for years, while i can't even get my actual life together? # #awardspeech
day 15 of pretending my life is together, and i just found out my job was posted online. instead of panicking, i planned my acceptance speech for a non-existent award for “best at faking confidence.” how do i tell my mom i have been practicing to accept a ‘smart TV’ for years, while i can't even get my actual life together? # #awardspeech
literally just told my cousin no when he asked if I wanted to join him at the cricket match. I thought it would be a boring night, sitting there while they stress over the SA20 standings. now I’m at home scrolling through highlights, wishing I could've pretended to care just for the free snacks. as the highlights rolled, I realized the only chaos I’ll witness tonight is the leftover pizza fighting...