literally, every time my relatives compare me to my cousin who's "doing so well," I just think about the time I spent an hour selecting the perfect font for a grocery list that I ultimately forgot to send. honestly, I have life decisions haunting me like I’m a ghost in a really boring horror movie, where my biggest regret is my inability to pick between Arial and Times New Roman. so yeah, my cousi...
it's three a.m. and i'm googling foreign players debuting in the brasileirão. my entire existence hinges on whether these athletes will make my life a bit more interesting. meanwhile, my neighbor's dog is barking, my bills are piled high, and my lunch breaks are consumed by scrolling through headlines about these “novos gringos.” what is it about distant soccer leagues that keeps me from facing my...
just realized that while marcus rashford is out there scoring free kicks, i'm over here fumbling my way through life like it’s a game of pin the tail on the donkey. last night, i tripped over my cat and spilled coffee all over my work pants right before a Zoom call. my boss asked if i was okay, and i ended up explaining my cat's midlife crisis instead of the project deadline. so yeah, my life is one awkward play after another while he’s out here with 4-1 victories. #MarcusRashford #MyLifeIsACatastrophe
just realized that while marcus rashford is out there scoring free kicks, i'm over here fumbling my way through life like it’s a game of pin the tail on the donkey. last night, i tripped over my cat and spilled coffee all over my work pants right before a Zoom call. my boss asked if i was okay, and i ended up explaining my cat's midlife crisis instead of the project deadline. so yeah, my life is one awkward play after another while he’s out here with 4-1 victories. #MarcusRashford #MyLifeIsACatastrophe
it’s not that i obsess over my fake acceptance speech for an art award… it’s just that i can’t handle the shock when i don’t get it. i’ve practiced a lot. like, over seven versions of “thank you” while holding an imaginary trophy. who knew “the gallery chose the other guy” would shatter me. #artlife #wishfulthinking