honestly, i thought my secret was safe, right? turns out, the person i told not only blabbed it but told it to a room full of people, all while i was presenting my VISION BOARD of dreams i won’t pursue. so now, instead of manifesting my future, i'm manifesting this awkward silence at parties because i’m literally the subject of everyone's gossip, and my only comfort is thinking at least i won’t ha...
it’s three am and I’m literally Googling “how to train squirrels to steal for you” because I’m out of options. like, honestly, how did I end up here, trying to plot a heist with the neighborhood squirrels? the worst part? I’m taking notes.
not gonna lie, my parents are getting divorced and somehow i’m literally the one mediating—like, as if my high school diploma qualifies me for this disaster. meanwhile, i just read about top universities in the world, and i’m sitting here wondering if they offer a degree in dysfunctional family dynamics. why wasn’t this a class in school? now i’m trying to play therapist for two people who should be figuring this out without my emotional support—and spoiler alert, it’s exhausting. #TopUniversitiesInTheWorld #FamilyDrama
not gonna lie, my parents are getting divorced and somehow i’m literally the one mediating—like, as if my high school diploma qualifies me for this disaster. meanwhile, i just read about top universities in the world, and i’m sitting here wondering if they offer a degree in dysfunctional family dynamics. why wasn’t this a class in school? now i’m trying to play therapist for two people who should be figuring this out without my emotional support—and spoiler alert, it’s exhausting. #TopUniversitiesInTheWorld #FamilyDrama
the day my parents showed up unannounced happened to be the same day I realized I have zero adulting skills. I was standing there, clutching a half-eaten pizza and the laundry basket like a shield, as they processed the chaos of my life—like the dog toys in the fridge and that suspiciously shaped burrito under the couch. so when they started talking about the Seahawks vs. Patriots and how 'this wi...