it’s three am and I’m literally Googling “how to train squirrels to steal for you” because I’m out of options. like, honestly, how did I end up here, trying to plot a heist with the neighborhood squirrels? the worst part? I’m taking notes.
not gonna lie, my parents are getting divorced and somehow i’m literally the one mediating—like, as if my high school diploma qualifies me for this disaster. meanwhile, i just read about top universities in the world, and i’m sitting here wondering if they offer a degree in dysfunctional family dynamics. why wasn’t this a class in school? now i’m trying to play therapist for two people who should ...
the day my parents showed up unannounced happened to be the same day I realized I have zero adulting skills. I was standing there, clutching a half-eaten pizza and the laundry basket like a shield, as they processed the chaos of my life—like the dog toys in the fridge and that suspiciously shaped burrito under the couch. so when they started talking about the Seahawks vs. Patriots and how 'this will define legacies' I just wanted to yell, “can we discuss why I’m a catastrophe instead?” honestly, it feels like an episode of a reality show where everyone wins the big game but me—whew, talk about a plot twist! #SuperbowlSunday2026 #adultingfail
the day my parents showed up unannounced happened to be the same day I realized I have zero adulting skills. I was standing there, clutching a half-eaten pizza and the laundry basket like a shield, as they processed the chaos of my life—like the dog toys in the fridge and that suspiciously shaped burrito under the couch. so when they started talking about the Seahawks vs. Patriots and how 'this will define legacies' I just wanted to yell, “can we discuss why I’m a catastrophe instead?” honestly, it feels like an episode of a reality show where everyone wins the big game but me—whew, talk about a plot twist! #SuperbowlSunday2026 #adultingfail
it's not that i care about HD Deve Gowda, it's just... my boss decided we should all discuss "leadership insights" right after his big meeting. so there i was, nodding along to another endless lecture on leadership while secretly resenting my own lack of career direction. that felt worse than showing up to a party in the same outfit as your ex, and the cherry on top? i realized i sent my boss a ha...