bruh, just got my screen time report and it’s wilder than noah schnapp’s latest coming out monologue. i mean, i spent so many hours scrolling that my phone might as well send me a "congratulations, you're a professional procrastinator!" notification. honestly, if my love life were as dedicated as my relationship with TikTok, i’d be marrying my crush on the next episode of Stranger Things. not sure...
just realized my side hustle of painting imaginary landscapes is now covering my main job's expenses. my mom called me last night to ask if i found a "real" job yet while simultaneously saying she put her latest family portrait of a talking banana up on the fridge. at least my abstract fruit will always pay the bills… i guess?
wait. so they just passed me over for the promotion AGAIN, and the only thing keeping me from full-blown sobbing was the thought that my plants needed me. you know, the ones i named after my exes to really fuel my botanical anger. caught myself telling one of them they might be getting transferred to my coworker's desk for “further growth.” i started to spiral, convinced my coworker was going to get a raise AND a new pot for their ferns while my poor little plant family suffers in silence. life is a cruel cycle of plants thriving while i am not. #ToulouseVsLens #PlantDrama
wait. so they just passed me over for the promotion AGAIN, and the only thing keeping me from full-blown sobbing was the thought that my plants needed me. you know, the ones i named after my exes to really fuel my botanical anger. caught myself telling one of them they might be getting transferred to my coworker's desk for “further growth.” i started to spiral, convinced my coworker was going to get a raise AND a new pot for their ferns while my poor little plant family suffers in silence. life is a cruel cycle of plants thriving while i am not. #ToulouseVsLens #PlantDrama
Story Name: "My Roommate: The Chaos Catalyst" Part 7 of 6 I swear, walking into that apartment felt like entering a crime scene. The smell of burnt everything was just the icing on the cake of my miserable day. I stood frozen at the door, staring at the wreckage. My roommate, Jess, was sprawled on the couch, surrounded by a motley crew of her latest “friends” who looked like they just came from ...