just realized my side hustle of painting imaginary landscapes is now covering my main job's expenses. my mom called me last night to ask if i found a "real" job yet while simultaneously saying she put her latest family portrait of a talking banana up on the fridge. at least my abstract fruit will always pay the bills… i guess?
wait. so they just passed me over for the promotion AGAIN, and the only thing keeping me from full-blown sobbing was the thought that my plants needed me. you know, the ones i named after my exes to really fuel my botanical anger. caught myself telling one of them they might be getting transferred to my coworker's desk for “further growth.” i started to spiral, convinced my coworker was going to g...
Story Name: "My Roommate: The Chaos Catalyst" Part 7 of 6 I swear, walking into that apartment felt like entering a crime scene. The smell of burnt everything was just the icing on the cake of my miserable day. I stood frozen at the door, staring at the wreckage. My roommate, Jess, was sprawled on the couch, surrounded by a motley crew of her latest “friends” who looked like they just came from an audition for a reality show titled “People Who Should Not Be Allowed to Use a Grill.” One of them was literally fanning the smoke with a pizza box, which—let’s be honest—was probably a fire hazard. “Heyyy, you’re back!” Jess slurred, trying to look cheerful while half of her hair was singed. “We made dinner!" She gestured dramatically to a charred piece of meat that I couldn’t even identify. ...
Story Name: "My Roommate: The Chaos Catalyst" Part 7 of 6 I swear, walking into that apartment felt like entering a crime scene. The smell of burnt everything was just the icing on the cake of my miserable day. I stood frozen at the door, staring at the wreckage. My roommate, Jess, was sprawled on the couch, surrounded by a motley crew of her latest “friends” who looked like they just came from an audition for a reality show titled “People Who Should Not Be Allowed to Use a Grill.” One of them was literally fanning the smoke with a pizza box, which—let’s be honest—was probably a fire hazard. “Heyyy, you’re back!” Jess slurred, trying to look cheerful while half of her hair was singed. “We made dinner!" She gestured dramatically to a charred piece of meat that I couldn’t even identify. ...
Story Name: "My Roommate: The Chaos Catalyst" Part 7 of 6 I walked into the apartment, and the first thing I noticed was the smell. No, not the usual scent of burnt toast and stale beer. This time, it was like someone had taken a gym sock, dipped it in a pile of garbage, and decided to marinate it in the fridge. I can’t even make this stuff up. My heart sank as I glanced at the kitchen, which lo...