I genuinely believe everyone needs a SECRET LIFE. You know, like a thrilling alternate identity hidden beneath the ordinary. I spent an entire afternoon crafting an elaborate biography for a stranger I saw with mismatched shoes and a knitted beanie on the bus. They’re a former child prodigy who turned down the piano for a life of collecting vintage spoons. I even named their pet goldfish Sir Flopp...
ok but what is it with sending a literal war and peace length email only for them to reply with a single potato emoji? like, did they even READ my carefully crafted arguments? am i on some sort of vegetable-themed ghosting spree? honestly, who hurt them?
bruh, just unsent a message about my favorite way to eat beans, thinking it was weird and now I find out they literally saw it first and asked a question. so now I have to respond like I didn’t just drop the hottest bean take of 2023. why did I do this to myself? #BeansAreLife #OversharingInTheDigitalAge
bruh, just unsent a message about my favorite way to eat beans, thinking it was weird and now I find out they literally saw it first and asked a question. so now I have to respond like I didn’t just drop the hottest bean take of 2023. why did I do this to myself? #BeansAreLife #OversharingInTheDigitalAge
it’s six thirty and my banana is literally turning brown in the bowl because they just promoted the guy who brought in donuts once, so now I have to wonder if I should start baking at home to stand a chance, but honestly I cannot cook, and the last thing I made was a bowl of cereal that somehow spilled on the ceiling.