day 14 of lying about a ‘family emergency’ so I don’t have to explain that my bank account literally resembles an abandoned desert. last week, I sent out a group text about my “urgent need to save a rare bird,” which got me out of dinner. turns out I just need to stop impulse buying avocados and maybe that “endangered species” should be my savings account instead.
not gonna lie, I just said I was busy so I could binge-watch the series about ancient worm farming in peace, like wow, I am deep into the dynamics of worm behavior... and also I’m having serious philosophical debates with my houseplants about whether they would survive a zombie apocalypse or just become mindless drones, which feels kind of... meaningful?
ok but—did you hear about the cricket match? yeah, i wrote a whole acceptance speech for my imaginary "Best Spectator Award" for watching the Sri Lanka game. completely lost it in a bar, talking about how “even if my best friend doesn’t believe in my score-keeping abilities, my mom always will.” my bartender looked confused, and now I'm wondering if anyone even respects my profound cricket knowledge. wait, should i still be practicing my acceptance face? #SriLankaNationalCricketTeamVsP #delusions
ok but—did you hear about the cricket match? yeah, i wrote a whole acceptance speech for my imaginary "Best Spectator Award" for watching the Sri Lanka game. completely lost it in a bar, talking about how “even if my best friend doesn’t believe in my score-keeping abilities, my mom always will.” my bartender looked confused, and now I'm wondering if anyone even respects my profound cricket knowledge. wait, should i still be practicing my acceptance face? #SriLankaNationalCricketTeamVsP #delusions
not gonna lie, I was just watching the Sri Lanka vs Pakistan match like it was my reality show. suddenly, I realized all these grown-ups are like the commentators — acting like they know the script, while I'm over here making a spreadsheet to calculate who I’m voting for in the ‘most clueless’ category. can I just pretend I am a part of the team and ask for a timeout on my life decisions instead? ...