i just sent my great aunt a long text breaking down why i can't make it to the family reunion this year... and she replied 'ok' like i told her my favorite color. now she's planning a surprise 80th for the neighbor instead of me. honestly, i just wanted a reason to not hear about cousin suzy's vegan cat cafe...
i just spent five years busting my a** for a company that just found a dude willing to take my role for half the pay. while they’re replacing me quicker than Josh Allen's dating history, i'm still getting questions about if i'm a team player. thanks for the loyalty... and by the way, i found my replacement’s LinkedIn. i might start a group chat with his future ex-wife. #JoshAllenWife #CareerRegret...
ever sit down to calculate how long it’d take to save for a freaking bread machine? like, i thought it was a smart investment for artisan loaves—turns out i could fund my own bread empire if i just sacrificed lunch for a decade. now i’m wondering if i’d rather live with cold sandwiches for years or face my fate as a sourdough failure. guess it’s cereal again for breakfast—at least it doesn’t need kneading.
ever sit down to calculate how long it’d take to save for a freaking bread machine? like, i thought it was a smart investment for artisan loaves—turns out i could fund my own bread empire if i just sacrificed lunch for a decade. now i’m wondering if i’d rather live with cold sandwiches for years or face my fate as a sourdough failure. guess it’s cereal again for breakfast—at least it doesn’t need kneading.
it's 2am and I’m back at his place for the third time this week—after swearing I’d never return. why do I keep ignoring the advice from my mom and my therapist, who clearly want me to stop treating heartbreak like an all-you-can-eat buffet? as he turns on yet another "soulful" playlist that sounds suspiciously like his ex's favorite, I'm left wondering if this time he really *has* changed or if I ...