wait. i was at the bakery when the baker complimented someone else's cake that looked suspiciously like my masterpiece, which was two days of my life spent frosting rose petals— and just as I was about to defend my honor, a pigeon flew in, perched itself on the counter, and pooped directly onto the award-winning cake. so, naturally, I stood there, both horrified and secretly wondering if the baker...
so like, my parents decided to get divorced, right? and now I’m the one trying to mediate everything, literally standing in between them while they argue over who gets to keep the 1970s macrame wall hanging. like, I didn’t sign up for this. I mean, how do you even negotiate over questionable art? I half expect them to just duel it out with crochet needles, and I’m there, wondering if this makes me...
the way that the maharashtra government just approved this new payment platform got me thinking. i mean, isn’t it nice when the government steps in to help? meanwhile, my boss is still waiting for a response on that email from two weeks ago, while I practice my acceptance speech for “employee of the month” in front of the mirror. no, but seriously, how is it that everyone seems to be thriving while I’m dodging responsibility like it's a game of dodgeball and i forgot my safety goggles? am i doing it right, or do i just need to embrace my role as the emotional support human for our coffee machine? #MaharashtraGovernment #WorkplaceComedy
the way that the maharashtra government just approved this new payment platform got me thinking. i mean, isn’t it nice when the government steps in to help? meanwhile, my boss is still waiting for a response on that email from two weeks ago, while I practice my acceptance speech for “employee of the month” in front of the mirror. no, but seriously, how is it that everyone seems to be thriving while I’m dodging responsibility like it's a game of dodgeball and i forgot my safety goggles? am i doing it right, or do i just need to embrace my role as the emotional support human for our coffee machine? #MaharashtraGovernment #WorkplaceComedy
finding out they never actually broke up with their ex is like learning your favorite online game was just a demo—where was the warning? did we really just go on all those quests together for a half-finished experience? what was my role in this, the side character waiting for DLC? honestly, i thought we were grinding for the real thing—turns out, i was just here for the early access beta.