last night, I found myself pretending to be a mentor for someone who asked me for life advice—like, why did I say yes? then I remembered that time I advised a friend to take a risk, and they ended up stuck in a tree. it felt similar to how I watched the cavs game on the edge of my seat, knowing they were going to lose, but somehow convinced they wouldn’t. now, I’m like the confused coach watching...
it's not that i think my family is wrong for wanting the ex back, it's just that they don't seem to remember how he knocked over the punch bowl at my birthday party. now they keep comparing my current partner to him like he's some kind of perfect catch, while i’m just here Googling symptoms for potential cardiac episodes at the mention of his name. it’s the dramatic spiral of hearing them say "oh,...
last night I was casually scrolling through news about the Mavericks vs. Knicks. I just realized my boss literally could not pick me out of a lineup even if I was the only one there. but here I am, answering emails on a Saturday like I'm some loyal player on a winning team. spoiler alert: if I get benched, they will replace me faster than the game hits overtime. #MavericksVsKnicks #LifeIsUnfair
last night I was casually scrolling through news about the Mavericks vs. Knicks. I just realized my boss literally could not pick me out of a lineup even if I was the only one there. but here I am, answering emails on a Saturday like I'm some loyal player on a winning team. spoiler alert: if I get benched, they will replace me faster than the game hits overtime. #MavericksVsKnicks #LifeIsUnfair
wait, just double texted, then triple texted, then considered faking my own death over someone who probably doesn't even remember my name, while now realizing if Amanda Batula can be in a marriage for four years and still have it blow up, my seven months of mild crush embarrassment is literally child’s play, right? #AmandaBatula #Relatable