you ever just realize your parents were basically professionals in their fields by my age? and here I am, sweating over whether to respond to a text from that guy who once got lost in my apartment—like do I remind him that I still have his favorite socks? meanwhile, alexei popyrin is out here winning matches and I can’t even win an argument with my toaster. so yeah, I spent the whole morning stari...
it's three am and i'm spiraling over how my parents were my age when they had mortgages and stability. meanwhile, i'm staring at my snack cabinet, debating if pop tarts count as a dinner replacement. don cheadle has it together while i'm here feeling like a failed human auditioning for the role of "hot mess." will i ever pull it together? probably not. #DonCheadle #adultingfail
it’s four pm on a holiday, and I am slowly trying to eat my way through a buffet of guilt. I thought I was just awkwardly balancing my plate on my knee when suddenly—everyone is looking at me, ready to stage an intervention about my life choices. as if i asked for their advice on the absurdity of mixing cranberry sauce with mashed potatoes—who made them the food police? apparently, my big life decision to bring store-bought pie instead of a "real dessert" was the final straw.
it’s four pm on a holiday, and I am slowly trying to eat my way through a buffet of guilt. I thought I was just awkwardly balancing my plate on my knee when suddenly—everyone is looking at me, ready to stage an intervention about my life choices. as if i asked for their advice on the absurdity of mixing cranberry sauce with mashed potatoes—who made them the food police? apparently, my big life decision to bring store-bought pie instead of a "real dessert" was the final straw.
it’s four a.m. and i just realized i have memorized every single episode of that weird gardening show. i don’t even garden. the hosts don’t know my name, yet i have written them 13 letters detailing my hypothetical compost strategy. meanwhile, the company that pays my bills will drop me faster than a potato off a roller coaster, and i am here plotting my daytime television debut in a spinoff serie...