yooo, just found out that my parents were thriving in life by my age—like, owning houses and having REAL jobs. meanwhile, I’m over here arguing with my microwave about if it can really count as "cooking" if it’s just heating things up. the audacity of me thinking I’d be planning my own financial empire like… HA. the only empire I have is the kingdom of takeout wrappers on my coffee table. I’ll nev...
it's not that i care about sports, it's just like, i’ve literally been left on read longer than the Browns took to hire a coach. so now i’m over here wondering if i should send my own 'lol' and just get on with my life while plotting an emotional takeover that rivals any NFL drama. my boss just assigned me to the worst project, and i think i'm literally on the brink of transforming into a Jim Schw...
so i found out my partner has been texting someone else, and honestly, i was less upset about the cheating and more about the fact they didn’t even include me in the group chat they started. like, i was literally imagining us debating which zodiac sign deserves the crown for best pizza topping. i was ready for a love triangle and they took it straight to a whole new chatroom. #delulu #textingdrama
so i found out my partner has been texting someone else, and honestly, i was less upset about the cheating and more about the fact they didn’t even include me in the group chat they started. like, i was literally imagining us debating which zodiac sign deserves the crown for best pizza topping. i was ready for a love triangle and they took it straight to a whole new chatroom. #delulu #textingdrama
last night, I realized I miss the smell of printer ink more than I thought I would—how did I become this person? it’s like I traded my nine to five for a life of barely-legal lemonade stands and passionate outbursts about banana peels—now I just cry at the thought of having a reliable paycheck.