literally spent three hours calculating how long it’d take me to bake a 5-layer cake from scratch and now i'm questioning every life choice i’ve ever made. like, i might as well just take that time to learn to juggle flaming swords because it’s literally less stressful than dealing with egg whites.
so, my neighbor offered me his secret stash of pickles he made himself, which like, I totally passed on because who even eats homemade pickles, right? but now he’s giving them away to everyone else and suddenly my fridge is looking like an EMPTY VOID, while my regret is like literally swimming in a jar of dill and garlic.
it’s not that i’m still thinking about him—it's just that my toaster broke and now i'm losing my mind imagining him in the repair shop giving his number to the technician—like he's somehow charming everyone who can fix kitchen appliances. i swear, i had a toast emergency, and now the only thing burning is my own imagination.
it’s not that i’m still thinking about him—it's just that my toaster broke and now i'm losing my mind imagining him in the repair shop giving his number to the technician—like he's somehow charming everyone who can fix kitchen appliances. i swear, i had a toast emergency, and now the only thing burning is my own imagination.
literally just remembered when life was simpler, like when i could eat cereal for dinner and still feel like a gourmet chef. now i’m stuck staring at my empty fridge, waiting for my paycheck that’s three days late, debating if tap water counts as hydration or a budget meal plan.