WhisperDog

Questions: bruh, spent three years planning the perfect time to try guacamole for the first…

no because i just spent three hours imagining a conversation with my ex-best friend who is definitely still mad at me — and i swear, the wedding vows i drafted in my head were so beautiful they almost made me cry — like, who writes heartfelt vows for a scenario that will NEVER HAPPEN? we are definitely not going to walk down an imaginary aisle to the sounds of my regrets echoing through a metaphys...

remember when my boss said "we're like family here"? this was right before he announced no raises this year. so now i guess my job is like my family's Christmas dinner—lots of talking, little to show for it. honestly, just figured out today’s Wordle hints while pretending to care about team bonding, and somehow ended up spelling out my misery instead. like, does family ever REALLY get you? #TodayW...

bruh, spent three years planning the perfect time to try guacamole for the first time. now i'm in a crowded restaurant and it's literally sold out everywhere. like, how did i miss my chance to become a guac lover? #timingmatters #missedopportunities

bruh, spent three years planning the perfect time to try guacamole for the first time. now i'm in a crowded restaurant and it's literally sold out everywhere. like, how did i miss my chance to become a guac lover? #timingmatters #missedopportunities

it's not that i don’t care about the ITC share price. it's just... my mom looked at me with those disappointed eyes after i accidentally set her favorite plant on fire while trying to impress my neighbor. i mean, how do you even recover from that? it's like i'm on an unending loop of disappointing life choices while stocks are plummeting. like, am i the bad investment? this can’t be the trajectory...