do you ever feel like you’re the only one who notices how absurdly overqualified you are for your morning routine? like, i just had a mental breakdown over cereal selection, wondering if i should’ve gone for the organic gluten-free stuff instead of my usual marshmallow-based regret. but hey, at least my boss recognized my potential and gave me a promotion… right after laying off half the team. now...
not gonna lie, when I heard Montgomery County Public Schools were closed because of the snow, I thought of the time I slipped on ice while trying to shovel my driveway and ended up spilling hot cocoa all over my neighbor’s dog. now that dog hates me. so here I am, the neighborhood villain, and all I wanted was a cozy winter day. now I’m practically a pariah. guess I should just embrace it. should ...
yooo, I literally changed everything about myself for this person, like I'm talking wardrobe, favorite snacks, even my playlist had to go – and for what? they still look at me like I’m the third stringer for the fourth T20 instead of the star player! bruh, the last time I felt this unappreciated, I was trying to sell lemonade with no lemons in sight. #4thT20IndVsNz #relationshipdrama
yooo, I literally changed everything about myself for this person, like I'm talking wardrobe, favorite snacks, even my playlist had to go – and for what? they still look at me like I’m the third stringer for the fourth T20 instead of the star player! bruh, the last time I felt this unappreciated, I was trying to sell lemonade with no lemons in sight. #4thT20IndVsNz #relationshipdrama
wait, how did i end up with fifteen pictures of mashed potatoes in various lighting? like, one second i’m having a simple dinner, and the next, i’m picturing my defense strategy in court over culinary photography. at this point, my only alibi would be: "they just really captured the soul of the spud." #foodphotography #unexpectedcollections