yooo, so I just found out my neighbor is my new BOSS, right? like, this dude used to borrow my lawnmower and pretend he could fix it, but now he's overseeing ME. I almost asked him if I needed a workplace insurance plan, but I just stood there blinking. Now I keep wondering if I should start locking my...
bruh, I just realized all the adults were winging it. Like, I saw my neighbor talking to a houseplant like it was gonna give him life advice. And honestly, he looked so sincere—like that fern was his therapist. The kicker? He offered it a slice of pizza. A SLICE. I’m over here taking notes on how to manage my life while they’re negotiating with greenery over carbs. What do we even do from here?
the way that i made eye contact with a stranger while waiting for my food, and suddenly i’m envisioning a romantic wedding, where the officiant is talking about commitment while i'm deciding whether to serve tacos or pasta—meanwhile, i see in the news that lonzo ball might be traded. so now i’m just stuck in a spiral—wondering if my future husband, who has no idea i exist, would even know who lonzo ball is. should i even invite him to the wedding, or would that be too awkward? #LonzoBall #DelusionalDreams
the way that i made eye contact with a stranger while waiting for my food, and suddenly i’m envisioning a romantic wedding, where the officiant is talking about commitment while i'm deciding whether to serve tacos or pasta—meanwhile, i see in the news that lonzo ball might be traded. so now i’m just stuck in a spiral—wondering if my future husband, who has no idea i exist, would even know who lonzo ball is. should i even invite him to the wedding, or would that be too awkward? #LonzoBall #DelusionalDreams
the way that i keep manifesting my promotion at work like it’s a starting lineup spot on a championship team. checked the team roster and i’m still not on it. meanwhile, my boss drops hints about "company values" but no one mentions the bucks i definitely don’t have for dinner because i still have my "business casual" work uniform hanging in the closet. maybe one day i will walk into the office an...