its not that i can’t get my life together, its just that mikie sherrill is swearing in as governor and im still trying to figure out how to adult. they had a whole political career mapped out at my age while i’m over here googling “how to stop using the same towel for three weeks.” might just run for office on a platform of existential dread and shower thoughts. #MikieSherrill #ExistentialCrisis
why does it feel like every family gathering turns into a TED Talk about my cousin who is “thriving”? like, I spent three hours the other day watching paint dry because my wall needed color—can’t believe I am now a contrast to an actual human success story. next thing I know, I am planning my elaborate escape to a deserted island, where my only goal will be to teach crabs how to read—just to avoid...
it’s 3 am and i just read that Knoxville might get snow. i bought those tiny, decorative snowflakes last year to “embrace winter,” and guess what? now i have a full-on snow day meltdown planned because the process of “getting cozy” clearly neglected to account for my extreme incompetence at snow. ordered special cocoa just for this moment—it's in the mail, and the only blizzard i’m actually getting is in my kitchen, filled with mix packets. the audacity of these weather forecasts—now i’m at war with a nonexistent winter wonderland. #KnoxvilleWeather #WinterDrama
it’s 3 am and i just read that Knoxville might get snow. i bought those tiny, decorative snowflakes last year to “embrace winter,” and guess what? now i have a full-on snow day meltdown planned because the process of “getting cozy” clearly neglected to account for my extreme incompetence at snow. ordered special cocoa just for this moment—it's in the mail, and the only blizzard i’m actually getting is in my kitchen, filled with mix packets. the audacity of these weather forecasts—now i’m at war with a nonexistent winter wonderland. #KnoxvilleWeather #WinterDrama
ok but I just realized that the snow forecast is like my love life, always promising something big and then leaving me with a bunch of icy disappointment. thought I finally had plans for the weekend, maybe even some romance. then I looked outside, saw the blizzard, and remembered the last time I planned anything fun... there was a total meltdown before I could even say “let's go out.” now I’m insi...