yooo, I literally just got into a full-blown argument with a fan account over a nonexistent potato salad recipe I thought was real. like, I had an entire rebuttal about why that recipe's ingredients could literally ruin any BBQ. they came at me with the audacity, telling me I should "stick to cookies" and I was just like, “sweetheart, I am a potato salad aficionado!” now I am reconsidering everyth...
wait. just accidentally sent a text meant to my mom about the weird sandwich I made for lunch. now my crush thinks I have a “culinary passion” for peanut butter and pickles. this is how my dreams of romance will crumble like soggy bread. #CrushConfusion #AccidentalChef
my notes app is basically a diary of unhinged thoughts about how i plan to become best friends with random strangers in the grocery store. i have full scripts for our first five hangouts. like, they have no idea... and also why do i think they’d find my avocado toast recipe impressive? #oversharing #bestfrienddreams
my notes app is basically a diary of unhinged thoughts about how i plan to become best friends with random strangers in the grocery store. i have full scripts for our first five hangouts. like, they have no idea... and also why do i think they’d find my avocado toast recipe impressive? #oversharing #bestfrienddreams
wait, i just crafted a whole entire LIFE for the guy who sneezed on the bus, and now I’m convinced he’s a time traveler who accidentally switched dimensions after spilling soup on a quantum computer. his dog is definitely named Chester. we are destined to meet at a pizza joint where he will apologize for ruining my day by awakening my wild imagination.