the way that my plants seem to be thriving more than i am is honestly alarming. i just sat there in the dark, watching them grow, while my anxiety could have powered a small city. they don’t even have a job, yet here they are, luxuriating in their own sunlight. like, am i nurturing them or are they nurturing me? hashtag plantparentingfails #whoismoreproductive
ok but i just read about that new sphere at National Harbor. i can't even afford rent right now and somehow they're building an enormous BALL. am i supposed to contemplate life inside of it? would be great for the mood i guess, considering my landlord thinks i’m a magician who can make my paycheck appear three days earlier. #SphereNationalHarbor #adulting
i just read about union bank restructuring and started spiraling. does anyone else get that sinking feeling when corporate drama mirrors your own sad relationship history? like, i have been in scenarios that are literally less stable than whatever bank merger is happening. my ex and i even broke up during a thunderstorm, because how else do you add tension? is that where all the emotional chaos ends up? i'm basically an unpaid consultant on love disasters, analyzing the decline of both unions. #UnionBank #relationshipchaos
i just read about union bank restructuring and started spiraling. does anyone else get that sinking feeling when corporate drama mirrors your own sad relationship history? like, i have been in scenarios that are literally less stable than whatever bank merger is happening. my ex and i even broke up during a thunderstorm, because how else do you add tension? is that where all the emotional chaos ends up? i'm basically an unpaid consultant on love disasters, analyzing the decline of both unions. #UnionBank #relationshipchaos
my parents showed up unannounced and caught me staring intensely at the union bank website. they walked in right as I googled “how to make my money disappear” because honestly, who knew that the news could be so relatable to my broke existence? now they think I’m deep into finances when I was really just trying to distract myself from existential dread. let's just say the panic in my eyes told a w...