not gonna lie, i accidentally voice texted my deepest, darkest intrusive thoughts to myself during a quiet moment in public. one minute i'm casually contemplating the meaning of life and the next, i hear my phone announce “what if i just started yelling ‘i’m a goose!’ in this coffee shop?" and now everyone is staring. the weirdest part? it sounded so natural. they probably think i have a pet duck ...
day 14 of avoiding plans. my friends think i’m 'busy' doing volunteer work. really, i'm just at home practicing my acceptance speech for “best excuse maker of the year.” checked the news about that stock, felt the slightest twinge of jealousy as someone with real money goes out and enjoys life. honestly, the only stake i own is the one in my couch from refusing to leave it. #PatelEngineeringShare ...
no because i just bought a yellow tennis racket on sale even though i haven’t played in years. like, who do i think i am? now i'm staring at it wondering if i should join a local league or just hang it next to my collection of unused gym equipment. also, did i really need to plan a grand re-entry into tennis? honestly, this is as delulu as getting excited about zakharova's matches while i can't even hit a ball. #ZakharovaTennis #LifeChoices
no because i just bought a yellow tennis racket on sale even though i haven’t played in years. like, who do i think i am? now i'm staring at it wondering if i should join a local league or just hang it next to my collection of unused gym equipment. also, did i really need to plan a grand re-entry into tennis? honestly, this is as delulu as getting excited about zakharova's matches while i can't even hit a ball. #ZakharovaTennis #LifeChoices
yooo, my company just laid off half the team and now i have to juggle TWO JOBS while they're sitting on the couch like simona waltert's fans waiting for her to show up and serve looks - meanwhile, i’m drowning in spreadsheets, contemplating calling in sick to a place that barely pays me— and then i hear people talk about simona like she’s my therapist or something. like is she taking sessions? bc ...