just realized my screen time report is almost at a hundred hours this week — and twenty of those were just spent watching videos on how to fold a fitted sheet. sorry, future self. at this point, the sheets and I are basically in a committed relationship. I can’t believe I spent more time with my bedding than I did with actual humans. what is my life?
if you are feeling overwhelmed right now, just know that it is okay to take a step back and breathe; this moment is part of your journey, and brighter days will come. #YouAreNotAlone #SelfCare
not gonna lie, I just discovered that my cousin’s fiancé is still technically married to a woman named Francine, who lives in a commune with a bunch of alpacas. I mean, I saw a picture of her holding one and thought it was a real love story—like a Hallmark movie. now I’m just imagining how their wedding vows might include, 'I promise to love you and your five-horned goats.' Honestly, who do I call to make this a sitcom? #FamilyDrama #AlpacaLove
not gonna lie, I just discovered that my cousin’s fiancé is still technically married to a woman named Francine, who lives in a commune with a bunch of alpacas. I mean, I saw a picture of her holding one and thought it was a real love story—like a Hallmark movie. now I’m just imagining how their wedding vows might include, 'I promise to love you and your five-horned goats.' Honestly, who do I call to make this a sitcom? #FamilyDrama #AlpacaLove
honestly, I just accidentally sent a screenshot of the “school assembly news headlines today” to the person I was gossiping about. they have now seen my detailed thoughts on the latest student-led protests. my stomach dropped harder than a DJ dropping a bass beat in a silent library. now they probably think I'm a political analyst with a vendetta against snack choices. is my career as a meme lord ...