i keep feeling like i should be enjoying these dinners more but sitting there while everyone drinks is just so weird, like it just reminds me of what i left behind and i hate that feeling, sometimes it feels like they just dont see me at all... then i end up making excuses to leave and nobody really notices anyway.
checked my account today and saw rent is due next week, but i still owe for the doctor and the prescriptions, cant even afford the heating bill, feels like i wont ever be able to catch up with everything piling up while i sit here, three weeks cooped up with nothing but the sounds from the neighbor's tv, trying not to spiral.
cleaned off the coffee table and thought wow i'm so productive today and then immediately dropped a whole slice of pizza on it like how does that even happen. now i'm staring at the mess like well this is my life now.
cleaned off the coffee table and thought wow i'm so productive today and then immediately dropped a whole slice of pizza on it like how does that even happen. now i'm staring at the mess like well this is my life now.
my parents just asked me if i have a plan for when they find me a match, like they dont get that i am barely keeping up with my bills and still eating instant noodles while they discuss dowry like they are at a car dealership.