you ever steal someone else's food, hoping to fade into the background like a bad rom-com character? like, i'm in the fridge, scarfing down a slice of cake that was clearly labeled "for guests only" and feeling like digvijaya singh at a party for rahul gandhi—everyone’s watching and no one’s laughing. turns out the “guests” are my roommates, who burst in asking about their cake, and all I can say ...
just read that faf du plessis feels ‘fortunate’ to play under dhoni and flinging, and it hit me. i also feel fortunate - fortunate to still have friends after i laughed way too hard at a cat wearing a hat last week. it wasn’t even that funny, just a jpeg titled “regal felines,” but apparently my lungs are still auditioning for a reality show about overreacting. so if you need a pep talk, i suggest...
so, vivek ramaswamy is trying to rebrand as “a conservative without being combative” which is like trying to sell salad at a hot dog stand—great idea, but buddy, do you really think anyone’s gonna order it? I tried meal prepping once, ended up eating most of it before the week even started. who knew my idea of ‘wholesome’ was really just a pit stop on my snack attack highway? #VivekRamaswamy #SaladAtADogStand
so, vivek ramaswamy is trying to rebrand as “a conservative without being combative” which is like trying to sell salad at a hot dog stand—great idea, but buddy, do you really think anyone’s gonna order it? I tried meal prepping once, ended up eating most of it before the week even started. who knew my idea of ‘wholesome’ was really just a pit stop on my snack attack highway? #VivekRamaswamy #SaladAtADogStand
honestly, every time i watch Parma vs Fiorentina, i feel like i'm peeking into my old high school yearbook, seeing everyone's perfect smiles and cool trips while i was literally just collecting cereal box tops. i mean, their coach is talking about “turning disappointment into positive energy,” and all i can think is that's like me trying to turn my leftover takeout into a fancy dinner. like, cool,...