wait, just found out my grandma was married to a secret agent and that explains why we have to dress like we’re attending a funeral every family gathering. they never told us anything! so now I'm prepared for literally any emergency, but my real emergency is having to figure out how to take her apple pie recipe to the grave without revealing the family drama. #familysecrets #preparationiskey
day 17 of arguing with a fictional version of my neighbor. they knocked on my door for cookies that didn't exist, so now I am actively avoiding eye contact in the hallway because I might accidentally invite them over. i really need to get a grip. #irrationalfights #livinginh myhead
quit my stable job to pursue my passion for painting abstract fruit. spent my savings on a live painting performance at a local fruit market. turns out i only made eye contact with three apples the entire time. now i’m not sure if i'm more scared of failing or if i should just pick up a 9 to 5 and pretend this never happened. #Act #crushingrealities
quit my stable job to pursue my passion for painting abstract fruit. spent my savings on a live painting performance at a local fruit market. turns out i only made eye contact with three apples the entire time. now i’m not sure if i'm more scared of failing or if i should just pick up a 9 to 5 and pretend this never happened. #Act #crushingrealities
just found out my private story got screenshotted by my grandma – she thought it was the same as her facebook album and now I have to explain why I’m posting selfies in the bathroom at 2am with captions like “existential crisis number five” while she’s calling me for tech support. honestly, my life is a sitcom but the punchline is that I am in it alone and it’s directed by my anxiety.