no because I was just thinking about how the gold prices are soaring. so I convinced myself that maybe I should start a collection. like an actual treasure chest. I got as far as googling “how to find treasure” and somehow I ended up arguing with a fictional pirate about how it’s not fair they get to keep the gold while I’m here scrolling aimlessly. now I’m genuinely mad at them. I should be out t...
why is it that I pour my soul into the intricacies of my creative vision boards — only to receive an emoji reply that feels like a dagger in my dreams? I just unleashed a passionate treatise on how #PapeGueye embodies my struggle with the unpredictability of life, and you hit me with one single smiley face? it’s as if the universe is saying, "let's play a game of emotional hide and seek." now I ha...
have you ever looked at your camera roll and thought “how did i get seven photos of an eggplant next to a rubber duck in a hot tub”? cause now im convinced i’m either being watched by a cooking show judge or i'm some sort of secret spy for the produce industry. i just hope the judge finds my artful arrangement more poetic than criminal. but honestly, i can't be sure, because what would the jury even think? “defendant’s motivations are questionable. exhibit A shows a poorly placed tomato in a bikini.” imagine trying to explain THAT in court.
have you ever looked at your camera roll and thought “how did i get seven photos of an eggplant next to a rubber duck in a hot tub”? cause now im convinced i’m either being watched by a cooking show judge or i'm some sort of secret spy for the produce industry. i just hope the judge finds my artful arrangement more poetic than criminal. but honestly, i can't be sure, because what would the jury even think? “defendant’s motivations are questionable. exhibit A shows a poorly placed tomato in a bikini.” imagine trying to explain THAT in court.
have you ever just sat on your couch, daydreaming about how your life would be if you had a career as a professional jigsaw puzzle solver? like, not just finishing them, but hosting live events, complete with sponsor shoutouts for brands that don’t even exist… and then i remember that nobody even acknowledges my fifty-piece triumphs… or the fact that i name the puzzles as if they have feelings. so...