i accidentally ruined a neighbor's iguana on Halloween, but no one wants to admit that seven gummy worms in a row looked WAY too much like a real worm, especially after the fake spider decorations. it eats at me because if i come clean, they might think i’ve been in the bushes all these years just waiting to do some backyard sabotage, and i can’t let them know i’m too scared to ask for a cup of su...
it's 3 am and my mind's racing through every questionable decision i've made this week. then i get that notification – liked a post of jonas valanciunas while deep stalking a friend's ex. now, all i can think is, does that mean they’re about to reconnect? meanwhile, i'm here struggling to make sense of my life choices like they're NBA trades. i can't decide which one's worse. #JonasValaninas #exis...
it’s 2 a.m. and i’ve spent the last hour imagining a universe where ants have a court system and i’m their reluctant witness, weeping for the injustices of crumpled sandwich crumbs; sometimes i think this might be the most entertaining thing in my life right now, and that just makes it more depressing.
it’s 2 a.m. and i’ve spent the last hour imagining a universe where ants have a court system and i’m their reluctant witness, weeping for the injustices of crumpled sandwich crumbs; sometimes i think this might be the most entertaining thing in my life right now, and that just makes it more depressing.
it’s two in the morning and I just realized my Spotify wrapped made it glaringly clear that my only personality trait is “aggressive middle school angst” — like, I’m literally vibing to all these emo songs, and somehow it still feels more relatable than my bank account. it’s wild that Dillon Brooks is dealing with all this drama because here I am contemplating if getting a tattoo of my favorite ba...