bruh, I just told my friends I can’t go out this weekend because I’m “feeling under the weather.” truth is, I spent my last coins on a ridiculously fancy protein powder that I read about on some influencer's page. but you know, as I obsessively refresh the news about #AdithyaAshok, I'm over here thinking maybe I could manifest a free dinner by supporting him from my couch? i mean, he’s a Vellore c...
yooo, just read about this whole gold theft scandal, and for some reason, I can't help but feel like I'm a part of it. I was watching my neighbors fight about their garden fence, and I thought, are they really just like the priest? Manipulating us all? can't trust anyone these days. who knew that all this stress about grass and gold would somehow make my lunch feel like an episode of a reality sho...
last night, i casually dropped an absurd amount on what was essentially a fancy paperweight. then, i got my credit card bill and felt like nick saban just told me my life's choices were on par with alabama losing to indiana. as i sat there, spiraling, i realized my greatest betrayal wasn't the splurge but the fact that i have beef with my reflection for silently encouraging this madness. honestly, i can't look at myself in the mirror until further notice. #NickKelly #SelfDestruction
last night, i casually dropped an absurd amount on what was essentially a fancy paperweight. then, i got my credit card bill and felt like nick saban just told me my life's choices were on par with alabama losing to indiana. as i sat there, spiraling, i realized my greatest betrayal wasn't the splurge but the fact that i have beef with my reflection for silently encouraging this madness. honestly, i can't look at myself in the mirror until further notice. #NickKelly #SelfDestruction
wait. just revealed to my coworkers that my favorite pastime is collecting vintage spoons while they were discussing “non blondes chainz 6 mafia.” they laughed, then shared their latest Spotify playlists. now I can’t show my face in the break room again. what if I actually take them to my spoon-themed brunch and they can’t stop looking at me like I’m the weirdest person ever? #NonBlondesChainz6Maf...