literally just accidentally liked a photo from 47 weeks ago of my ex at a party with von miller. i panicked and unliked it, then checked his current profile and saw he’s dating someone new. what if she sees my like and thinks we are still together? now i can’t even sleep because im picturing them at the same parties, laughing at my poor life choices. guess i'm just living in the past while he is ...
last night, I found a random post-it note in my jacket pocket that literally had the words “make eye contact with the lettuce” scribbled on it. I panicked because I had no idea what that meant—was I supposed to flirt with my salad? then I remembered I had a friend who wanted me to impress their vegan family. never doing that again. #whoops #diningadventures
so there i was, minding my own business, voice texting my friend about the new soup recipe i was trying. but somehow, i accidentally sent my INNER MONOLOGUE about the bizarre possibility that pigeons are government spies. now they think i am a paranoid conspiracy theorist instead of someone who simply likes cooking! GREAT. just great.
so there i was, minding my own business, voice texting my friend about the new soup recipe i was trying. but somehow, i accidentally sent my INNER MONOLOGUE about the bizarre possibility that pigeons are government spies. now they think i am a paranoid conspiracy theorist instead of someone who simply likes cooking! GREAT. just great.
literally sat through a holiday dinner that morphed into an intervention about my life choices. they tried to convince me my crush on the barista from the corner café isn’t a “healthy coping mechanism.” meanwhile, i spent my whole evening wondering if our shared love for that K-drama "can this love be translated?" is a sign we were meant to be. and now i'm thinking maybe my family's right—maybe li...